Item #5 -- Taking Inventory of Your Persistence, Part II

Of all the posts thus far, Item #4 and this one, Item #5, will perhaps be the most difficult to respond to. Perhaps it's because no pronouncements are being made. Perhaps it's because introspection is not a comfortable thing to do in any sense. We
don't like it when someone else finds fault with us, and we certainly aren't about to go out of our way to find fault with
ourselves. Sometimes it's easy to avoid such discussions, because they require admission that something could be changed or improved.

In any event, in this, the second and last post on the persistence inventory question, the process will continue. Some of the ground we travel may be the same. That's OK, because I hope to amplify some of the thoughts.


Let's begin with Self-Satisfaction.

Self-satisfaction is a malady for which there is little remedy, at least until the person who displays this satisfaction is ready to make an improvement. It boils down to "I'm happy with what I am, who I am, where I am, and where I am going, so why bother with contemplating any change?" I can recall times in my life when I equated happiness with the absence of grief. I was pretty much satisfied with myself, so don't bother me, thank you, with any suggestion that I change. However, having acquired a few years since that time, I've come to see that improvement, while it is certainly a change, is not necessarily a bad thing.

The problem with self-satisfaction is that not only do you reject any suggestion for improvement, you actually become very angry
that anyone would even remotely suggest the idea, however altruistic their motivation may be. As I look back now, this was in the days that I was a heavy smoker, and any suggestion that I improve was construed to be in the same class as those who harped
at me about my smoking. I gave up smoking, by the way, cold turkey one morning in September of 1980. It can be done.

Those of us old enough to remember Popeye cartoons can remember that the watchword phrase was "I yam what I yam." Being what you are is OK, but when what you are keeps you from expanding your horizons, be it the smoking, be it our mode of dress, be it our
attitudes -- that just might not be a good thing. So here's a few questions about self-satisfaction.

1.   Are you honestly satisfied with where you are, where your business is, where you plan to go? And if that satisfaction is at all in question, what would you like to do to change it? Have you asked a close friend?

2.   For you, is that the same as being happy?

3.   When others make recommendations for your improvement do you resent their "meddling." Do you consider all such
recommendations to be DEstructive rather than CONstructive?

4.   Would you be willing to undergo any training that might be necessary to make improvements either you or someone close
to you feel would be helpful to your future?

5.   What specific plans could you document today for self-improvement in the next month, six months, or a year?

6.   Do you invest in publications or tapes that would improve your situation? Do you read them or listen to them?


Those are certainly worth thinking about. I learned a little song in Sunday School many years ago that somehow seems appropriate
here:

     What you are speaks so loud that the world can't hear what you say.  They're looking at your walk, not listening to your talk.  They're judging by your actions every day.


Indifference.

As I've pointed out before, this is a balance -- if that is the appropriate word -- between positive and negative emotions.
Indifference is normally reflected in your willingness to take the middle road on any issue. To "keep peace in the family" is a
posture of indifference. You overcome indifference by being willing to affirm your interests and to pursue them in the face of one or more obstacles. Think about these:

1.   Would you consider yourself to have motivation? What kind of motivation specifically? What will your MOtivation set in MOtion tomorrow morning?

2.   Are you willing to let someone else -- anybody else -- make your decisions for you? Are you afraid of being blamed if
something goes wrong? To you is it a comfortable position to be able to hold someone else responsible?

3.   What responsibilities are you willing to accept? What responsibilities are you willing to seek? What responsibilities would you rather put off onto someone
else's shoulders?

4.   If you are willing to accept responsibility, do you couch your acceptance in doubts about your ability to see the work done, and if possible try to get someone else to shoulder or share the responsibility with you?

5.   Are there other things in your life about which you feel indifferent? Are there things you avoid because they involve risk? Do you avoid risk at every opportunity?


Passing the Buck.

It would be easy to merely typify this as foisting the blame onto someone else's shoulders. The term can be broadened, however, to include the avoidance of responsibility, the manufacture of
excuses, and structuring your behavior in such a way as to make sure you're invisible.

1.   Again, do you avoid responsibility. Would you prefer that someone else be "in charge?"

2.   Are you adept at finding reasons for doing something, for not doing something, for not doing anything at all? Since a
broken clock is right twice every day, do you side with that clock and find refuge in safe explanations?

3.   Would you prefer to work "behind the scenes," even hiding your participation? A logical question here might be whether
you prefer to drop the brochure and run or hide?

4.   Recognizing that you might like to be something you are not currently, would you be willing to participate in something
     that would make that change for you?

5.   Are you willing to accept unfavorable circumstances without complaint? If that is true, what would be your basis for any
complaint about any topic at any time?

Here's a mini-exercise: complete this sentence: When I find that I MUST be totally responsible, I .....

In my teaching days I used to deal with these people with a single question: "When was the last time you got excited?"


Weakness of Desire.

We all have our peaks and valleys. We are, after all, emotional beings. It is difficult to be high all the time. It takes some very conscious effort. However, the desire to succeed takes something far greater than lip service. Very often the fact we don't succeed can be traced to the situation where we simply don't have the desire to succeed, irrespective of the words we use. In order to achieve a dream, you must have something in the way of motivation or desire. So,

1.   What is your dream? How have you convinced yourself that the dream is achievable? How badly do you wish to achieve that dream? As I'm composing these words, a blind climber has just conquered Mt. Everest. Obviously he had a dream that
became a burning desire sufficient for him to make the sacrifices to achieve it. Are you willing to sacrifice to achieve your dream?

2.   Does your desire fluctuate with your emotional state? What things promote your desire? What things kill your desire?  How can you find more of the former and remove most of the latter? Does your desire fluctuate with how easy the task at hand may be? Do difficult tasks provide additional desire and the motivation to achieve them?

3.   To what extent are you willing to hype your own desire? Do you rely on someone else to motivate you toward your desire?
What would be required for you to gain some self-motivation toward your desire? Better diet? Exercise? Participation with people who are upbeat and positive? Avoidance of people and situations that bog you down and discourage you?

4.   If you were motivated towards the achievement of a goal, what would be your methods of operation? If the desire of
your heart requires no more effort on your part than having a solution simply fall into your lap, could it be that you need a new desire, one that will enhance your being and build your emotions?

5.   What faith do you have in yourself or in any other power that would lead you to think and feel that you could achieve
your dream?

I'm reminded of a church in a drought-stricken area whose people
gathered to pray for rain. A prayer meeting was considered to be about the only way to obtain rain. The weather bureau had
declared that it wasn't going to happen.

Before the congregation ever had the opportunity to pray, the preacher got up and declared that it WASN'T going to rain. That there would be no thunderclouds. No downpour. No water. You can be certain that consternation existed among the congregation.  Finally, the preacher said, "It isn't going to rain -- NOT ONE OF
YOU HAS BROUGHT AN UMBRELLA." Think about it.

I'm not going to ask any more questions, but there are a few topics yet to be touched.


Willingness to Quit.

This may be the logical next step to procrastination. When things begin to get a little difficult, it is very easy to give up. Go away. Let somebody else do it. We dress it up in excuses. "I'm too tired. I had to go to Karate class. My kid plays baseball. My daughter takes dance class. The meeting was held on a Monday night. I don't want to go to district sales meetings. I didn't get enough business to make an order worthwhile. I tossed 200
brochures and nobody called me." Do I need to go on?

Many of you know somebody who would willingly pack it in -- who would take what most of us know is a very easy business and give it up because somebody said "No." Or because she wasn't an instant success. If you do, I urge you to get these messages
across to them today. You could easily become the catalyst that overcomes their lack of desire and willingness to quit. As the old Methodist hymn said, "Brighten the corner where you are; someone far from harbor you may guide across the bar."

If there has been a central theme to this entire body of work I've produced from the beginning of the first post that I made,
it has been courage in the face of adversity. All the steps necessary to become an Avon success have been detailed except one: how to make it happen overnight. Persistence is the key.
Perseverance is the method.

We lack organized plans to make it happen. How much of our difficulty could be overcome by simply taking some time to
organize how we work?

I keep hearing how "scared" some folks are -- to call, to knock, to talk. A reticence to move is only overcome by moving; by
calling; by knocking; by talking. There isn't a shortcut. There are no shortcuts to anything worthwhile, and Avon is no
different. Yes, there will be some response. But -- as one lady told me this week, when she finally took the bull by the horns and made those phone calls, she was well gratified by the results. DO IT!

Dreaming is wonderful, and we should all do it. Wishing it will happen, however, requires one more thing -- the willingness to make it happen. It sometimes involves NOT doing something you would far prefer to do. Ask the woman who lost out on the
automobile at the first Avon convention in 1998.

We so often compromise with failure. We would rather work for pauper wages we know we can depend upon than to take the risk of
having to produce to eat. How very shortsighted. Desire is the motivation to BE, to DO, and to OWN. And we all know that the reward exists only to those who are willing to take those chances, evaluate those risks, and make the movement necessary to see it happen.

There is one more topic which fits in this chapter: the fear of criticism. We often fail to create and meet plans for fear of
what someone else will say, think, or do. This situation belongs in your mind alone. And it shouldn't be very hard for you to
identify. Dealing with it is an entirely different matter. If you allow your friends, relatives, or anybody else the permission to interfere with your life's desires or decisions, who is to blame?
Psychologists make lots of money every year dealing with people's neuroses, so we're not going to overcome yours in a paragraph. It is something you must deal with, however, and you do that with the same fire in the belly that makes you a successful Avon representative. We'll be talking more about the fear of criticism.

My mother, long gone now, used to fret and stew over the fact that my employment record was not as stable as my father's.
Father worked 20 plus years in each of two positions. She was a Depression baby and that stability was of primary importance to
her. Had she had her way, I'd have done one thing for 30 plus years and gone on to a retirement. What she never realized was
that I might well have been down sized out of a position. She couldn't quite understand my desire to achieve, to accomplish, to gain recognition. Her parental programming was to succeed, and
she saw her three boys through college, two with advanced degrees. Neither she nor my father had achieved that, and that was Mother's burning desire. She saw it done in the face of what seemed to be overwhelming adversity. But her watchword was stability, and none of us gave her that. We all had burning desires, motivations, and achievements in mind.

However, one of my parental programs (given unfortunately by my father) was this: "It is better to keep your mouth shut and be
thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." I didn't buy it then; I don't buy it now. It is my resolve to leave this
world a better place than I found it.

Thus ends our persistence inventory. Only you can answer the questions, and there are no doubt more questions that should be
asked and answered. As I said before, if you're honest with yourself while you answer them (assuming that you do), and you
don't like the answers you produce, write them down. You've found something that may be worthy of your work. And if you don't
expressly answer them, be warned: you read them; they're in your mind. Unless you suppress them, you can't escape them.

Action is what's required. B I G   A C T I O N.

      On the plains of hesitation lie the bones of those who, victory within their grasp, stopped to rest.

Next time we'll spend a little more time on this fear of criticism. And we'll wrap up the series with a ghost story.

Goodnight.

Ken the Avon Man -- AOL IM kenlordjr
Rose Circle member, Unit Leader, Certified Beauty Advisor
District 7286 -- Tucson, AZ
Book: Becoming an Avon Representative available for $15.